strawberry-picking:
raspberry-picking:
cherry trees
Gardner Beach, where I WILL buy property one day:
fiiiiire:
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Let the randomness continue
So on Friday, Kristin, Carla, & I hopped onto a train and headed to Connecticut to visit the Troy family. I'll summarize the weekend: strawberry/raspberry/cherry-picking at 2 orchards, swimming in a SWEET LAKE, eating at the famous Harry's Place, watching the annual fireworks show in Hebron, a bonfire, complete with s'mores -- and then we hopped back on a train to go home to the city. The pictures will do a better job of explaining things:
strawberry-picking:
raspberry-picking:
cherry trees
Gardner Beach, where I WILL buy property one day:
fiiiiire:
strawberry-picking:
raspberry-picking:cherry treesGardner Beach, where I WILL buy property one day:fiiiiire:
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Fine dining, camping, and interviewing Musicians... all in a week
Due to the fact that I am online all day and night for my internship, I've been giving my fingers some rest, and subsequently haven't spent much time doing anything else besides work that requires typing. But it's time for a break.
The past week or so has been c-raaazy. Carla's dad was in town from Oregon, so I had the luxury of going out to eat all weekend and getting to see Fuerzabruta ("brute force" in Spanish), this WILD Broadway show that is by far like nothing I've ever seen or even heard of. I really can't explain it well, but I'll try: no plot, no dialogue, no seats, fog, water showers, large plastic sheets above the audience (who stands in a circle) on which semi- to fully-naked girls slide across like slip-and-slides, all the the while contorting their bodies into beautiful shapes... there was also some intense treadmill-running that included harnesses, and other acrobats that clearly defied gravity. Oh, and the occassional screaming and kicking and shredding of boxes, along with running through styrofoam walls. SO COOL.
Umm what else... so then I had to get on a school bus at 7 am on Monday to be taken to an undicsclosed location in upstate New York for some type of vague training for my summer camp job. Good thing Kristin was there, or I would've been mildly concerned. All in all, I had a great time and met so many amazing people who are working at all the YMCA summer camps in the city. But for reference purposes, I'm just going to explain, factually, the mishaps we encountered: a broken bus, with an incompetent driver - not once, but twice. On the way there, the bus was smoking, and it took us three and a half hours to complete a route that should have taken under 2. On the way back, the driver had a bus with a broken door, so he thought it would be smart to use a clothes hanger to keep the door from whipping open on the freeway as people flew out of the door. Fortunately, we all survived. He also drove across Manhattan in the opposite direction before taking us home. And no one told us to bring sheets, so we practically froze to death when it got down to the 50s overnight, as a few of us girls slept on pillows of our pants and used beach towels as blankets. It was definitely a bonding experience, that's for sure. I love the city, but it was nice to see a little green and hear silence for a couple days.
Since I got back, I've been working non-stop for my internship, but it is totally paying off already. My bio & pic are now posted on the staff page, and I got to interview an R&B artist via e-mail, and did a Skype interview last night with an indie singer-songwriter from L.A. I just keep realizing more and more that I love journalism because behind the facts, it's really about telling stories. And thanks to all my creative writing experience, I LOVE stories, so I just get to carry over what I've learned. Who knew college would actually prepare me for the work world?
So yeah. I'm working on a couple articles and I've also been writing press releases and album reviews.
...And the best news of the day (and possibly the entire summer): I am officially employed from September to June. I lucked out the max max max ---- I posted a listing on a babysitting website a while ago, and sort of gave up on looking for a job through there. Then I got an e-mail a week or so ago from a woman who saw my profile and wanted to meet. The interview was last week, which went surprisingly well for someone like myself who typically talks a million miles an hour and practically gets hives at interviews. Then this morning I went to their apartment to meet the kids -- ON CENTRAL PARK WEST, ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE RESERVOIR. This might not mean much if you're not familiar with NYC, but this area is known as the upper west side, the ritziest area of Manhattan. And the ritziest of the rizty area overlooks Central Park. And the reservoir is a body of water in the park that is overwhelmingly gorgeous. And the mansion of an apt. inside the building that looked like a hotel is WHERE I WILL BE WORKING. I.am.so.lucky. I apologize for all the yelling. But what this really means is that I am now able to afford living in Manhattan, and no longer have to submit myself to living an hour out into Queens or Brooklyn, perhaps risking my life every time I step out my door. Ok so I'm being overly dramatic...but I can now afford to live somewhere safe and close. YAY.
To top off my sleep deprivation, I went to a free creative writing workshop by Gotham Writers Workshop tonight. The moral of that story is... I need to get back into creative writing. Like, immediately. Except not tonight.... if procrastinating were an art, I would undeniably be a phenomenal artist.
Fantastic seafood platter @ a steak restaurant in Midtown with Papa Benton & friends:
Carla's & my dessert: a chocolate basket.
Summer camp counselors: the Brit and the...sleeping Marley.
What we drove by:
Nature...what is that, again?
GO GREEN counselors :)
Pretty pretty.
Notice the fine linens on my bed:
So excited to be sleeping on a dirty tarp with a towel and no sweatshirt, in the proximity of spiders.
All of us in the room were sheetless. We should have formed a club.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE I'LL BE BABYSITTING!!!!!!!!
The Central Park Reservoir and all of its splendor:
The past week or so has been c-raaazy. Carla's dad was in town from Oregon, so I had the luxury of going out to eat all weekend and getting to see Fuerzabruta ("brute force" in Spanish), this WILD Broadway show that is by far like nothing I've ever seen or even heard of. I really can't explain it well, but I'll try: no plot, no dialogue, no seats, fog, water showers, large plastic sheets above the audience (who stands in a circle) on which semi- to fully-naked girls slide across like slip-and-slides, all the the while contorting their bodies into beautiful shapes... there was also some intense treadmill-running that included harnesses, and other acrobats that clearly defied gravity. Oh, and the occassional screaming and kicking and shredding of boxes, along with running through styrofoam walls. SO COOL.
Umm what else... so then I had to get on a school bus at 7 am on Monday to be taken to an undicsclosed location in upstate New York for some type of vague training for my summer camp job. Good thing Kristin was there, or I would've been mildly concerned. All in all, I had a great time and met so many amazing people who are working at all the YMCA summer camps in the city. But for reference purposes, I'm just going to explain, factually, the mishaps we encountered: a broken bus, with an incompetent driver - not once, but twice. On the way there, the bus was smoking, and it took us three and a half hours to complete a route that should have taken under 2. On the way back, the driver had a bus with a broken door, so he thought it would be smart to use a clothes hanger to keep the door from whipping open on the freeway as people flew out of the door. Fortunately, we all survived. He also drove across Manhattan in the opposite direction before taking us home. And no one told us to bring sheets, so we practically froze to death when it got down to the 50s overnight, as a few of us girls slept on pillows of our pants and used beach towels as blankets. It was definitely a bonding experience, that's for sure. I love the city, but it was nice to see a little green and hear silence for a couple days.
Since I got back, I've been working non-stop for my internship, but it is totally paying off already. My bio & pic are now posted on the staff page, and I got to interview an R&B artist via e-mail, and did a Skype interview last night with an indie singer-songwriter from L.A. I just keep realizing more and more that I love journalism because behind the facts, it's really about telling stories. And thanks to all my creative writing experience, I LOVE stories, so I just get to carry over what I've learned. Who knew college would actually prepare me for the work world?
So yeah. I'm working on a couple articles and I've also been writing press releases and album reviews.
...And the best news of the day (and possibly the entire summer): I am officially employed from September to June. I lucked out the max max max ---- I posted a listing on a babysitting website a while ago, and sort of gave up on looking for a job through there. Then I got an e-mail a week or so ago from a woman who saw my profile and wanted to meet. The interview was last week, which went surprisingly well for someone like myself who typically talks a million miles an hour and practically gets hives at interviews. Then this morning I went to their apartment to meet the kids -- ON CENTRAL PARK WEST, ACROSS THE STREET FROM THE RESERVOIR. This might not mean much if you're not familiar with NYC, but this area is known as the upper west side, the ritziest area of Manhattan. And the ritziest of the rizty area overlooks Central Park. And the reservoir is a body of water in the park that is overwhelmingly gorgeous. And the mansion of an apt. inside the building that looked like a hotel is WHERE I WILL BE WORKING. I.am.so.lucky. I apologize for all the yelling. But what this really means is that I am now able to afford living in Manhattan, and no longer have to submit myself to living an hour out into Queens or Brooklyn, perhaps risking my life every time I step out my door. Ok so I'm being overly dramatic...but I can now afford to live somewhere safe and close. YAY.
To top off my sleep deprivation, I went to a free creative writing workshop by Gotham Writers Workshop tonight. The moral of that story is... I need to get back into creative writing. Like, immediately. Except not tonight.... if procrastinating were an art, I would undeniably be a phenomenal artist.
Fantastic seafood platter @ a steak restaurant in Midtown with Papa Benton & friends:
Carla's & my dessert: a chocolate basket.
Summer camp counselors: the Brit and the...sleeping Marley.
What we drove by:
Nature...what is that, again?
GO GREEN counselors :)
Pretty pretty.
Notice the fine linens on my bed:
So excited to be sleeping on a dirty tarp with a towel and no sweatshirt, in the proximity of spiders.
All of us in the room were sheetless. We should have formed a club.
THE NEIGHBORHOOD WHERE I'LL BE BABYSITTING!!!!!!!!
The Central Park Reservoir and all of its splendor:
Saturday, June 21, 2008
I...can do anything...
...remember the Reading Rainbow theme song? hah. But really... I keep lucking out to the max. My internship has been going really well; it's a lot of work, but I do all of it from home online. So far I've been managing facebook groups and other online networking sites for the artists that MusicDish represents, and I've also been doing a lot of marketing research to promote the bands and the company. It's kind of crazy working on the, like, 15 different websites and trying to multi-task nonstop, but it's really cool getting to see what goes on behind the scenes in the industry. By far my favorite aspect of the job is writing press releases and music reviews -- and I got my first music review published on MusicDish's online mag! --> http://www.musicdish.com/mag/?id=12296
I can't even explain how ecstatic I am to have ended up in music journalism, after trading in my journalism major for English, and assuming that I would never have a chance to get back into journalistic writing. I also never thought I would be able to write music reviews, even though it's been a huge dream of mine. So YAY! I'm hoping I can continue to learn about music journalism and get to keep moving on up in the field! :)
I also just got hired as a counselor for the GO GREEN summer camp, which is a partnership between NYU and the YMCA. I'll just be working the month of July in the afternoons, pretty much just entertaining kids ages 6-11 and playing with them in the pool. Pretty sweet.
Other than interviewing, I got to see a band I was sort of street teaming for called the Black and White Years, who were AWESOME. OH and I went to the Alicia Keys concert on Wednesday and also got to see Jordin Sparks, Ne-yo, and *surprise guest* Rihanna, which was fantastic. Ms. Keys played for a solid 2 hours & even got the entire packed Madison Square Garden to sing (on-key) "No One." Definitely the highlight of the night. God, I love live music.
I can't even explain how ecstatic I am to have ended up in music journalism, after trading in my journalism major for English, and assuming that I would never have a chance to get back into journalistic writing. I also never thought I would be able to write music reviews, even though it's been a huge dream of mine. So YAY! I'm hoping I can continue to learn about music journalism and get to keep moving on up in the field! :)
I also just got hired as a counselor for the GO GREEN summer camp, which is a partnership between NYU and the YMCA. I'll just be working the month of July in the afternoons, pretty much just entertaining kids ages 6-11 and playing with them in the pool. Pretty sweet.
Other than interviewing, I got to see a band I was sort of street teaming for called the Black and White Years, who were AWESOME. OH and I went to the Alicia Keys concert on Wednesday and also got to see Jordin Sparks, Ne-yo, and *surprise guest* Rihanna, which was fantastic. Ms. Keys played for a solid 2 hours & even got the entire packed Madison Square Garden to sing (on-key) "No One." Definitely the highlight of the night. God, I love live music.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
So lucky
When you really sit back and look at everything around you, it's amazing how wonderful life is. You know? Not to get into a Thanksgiving speech or anything, but just think for a second about how fortunate it is to have a place to live, people who love you, a place to work (hopefully), time to relax, time to do what makes you happy. Life's too short to think about what we don't have, or what we want versus what we need. I'm not trying to preach, I've just been realizing more than ever how great every day can be if you look on the bright side - because there always is a bright side to every situation.
And as if my life isn't already completely made of fortunate circumstances, I lucked out more than ever in the past couple days. After my mini-life crisis about wanting to work in music journalism, but not able to secure any real jobs because of my lack of experience, I only had to wait a couple hours for things to fall into place.
On Monday I woke up, threw on my swimsuit with the intention of swimming laps at the pool, and just before heading out, sat down to check my e-mail. Then I proceeded to putz around on Craigslist, hoping that something music & writing related would be listed. I immediately found a listing for a full-time summer internship in the music industry, applied right away, and then played around online for a while. Less than 2 hours later, I got a call from the director of the company I had applied to, MusicDish Network, which totally caught me off guard because A) I had just applied and B) no one ever calls anymore. So within a few minutes I realized I was in the middle of a phone interview. After developing my typical nervous reaction to interviews, I stuttered for a few minutes about how "I just love love love music and it's my favorite passion in the whole entire world." Yeah it was pretty bad. But then I also rambled about how I want to learn everything about the music industry because I'm so interested in everything related to music. To this, the guy responded, "Interesting," and I had no idea what that meant. But it couldn't have been bad, because I had an interview set up that night.
A couple hours later I set out for Astoria, Queens, to the borough I've heard so much about in terms of affordable, safe housing and young, vibrant neighborhoods, but one that, sadly, I've never explored. Getting off the subway 45 minutes later, I fell in love with the neighborhood. At dinnertime there were just as many people in a hurry as in Manhattan, just as much culture, and even more ethnic restaurants and cute shops. The only difference was the lack of skyscrapers, but that view was overly compensated for by the view of the bridges leading back to Manhattan. I just loved everything about the vibe I got being there: people seemed genuine, interesting, and very much reminiscent of the kind of people I want to be neighbors with. Not that Manhattanites aren't any of these things; I'm just so appreciative of places where I know I'm not surrounded by millionaires-- where I feel like I belong. Sometimes when I walk around Manhattan I feel like I'm playing a game of pretend; like it's just an illusion that I'm walking among people who spend more money on a shopping spree than I've ever seen in my entire life. I love the city to death, but I can't live solely in this world forever. Of course there's tremendous diversity here, but I want to see what life is like on the other side of the bridge, where walking down the street isn't always a fashion show. I love the world I'm in right now, but I want to try on another one for size. I want to live in a community where I can make friends with people and families that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet anywhere else in the world. This may be coming off as incredibly sappy, but sorry, that's the way I get about life sometimes. :P
I love writing because I love what's behind it all-- stories. I'm getting sick of my own voice, so I'm turning to music journalism to get the facts out and cover topics I'm really interested in. But I still love stories, which is why I want to hear what other people have to say. I want to get to know the guy who owns the pizza shop down the street, or the woman working at the laundromat who barely speaks any English. When I get back into creative writing, I want to tell stories that matter-- not just the recreation of my childhood in paperback fiction. There will be a time for all stories to be told, but right now, it's time to turn the focus on the stories I have yet to be told.
And wow I just derailed off topic so bad... anyways, so my interview was in Astoria at a coffee/wine bar. The guy who interviewed me was super laid back, genuine, and pretty much talked the whole time about the music industry and what my position would entail. When he mentioned "you *will* be doing..." I got the hint that I had already gotten the job.
I GOT A FULL-TIME INTERNSHIP IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!! And practically immediately after I realized that I want to be a music journalist and have my life completely revolve around music. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. I'm supposed to log about 40 hours of work a week, mostly from home, and occasionally coming into the Queens office. What I'll be doing: writing music reviews, managing the million (okay, maybe like 7) sites that the company has, organizing online marketing strategies to target audiences about bands, targeting bands about the PR services offered, calling radio stations to promote bands, editing web site content, eventually working on the music magazine, and getting VIP access to shows when the artists play in the area. And my boss has already talked about me sticking around in the fall to potentially be an editor for the music magazine, and dive head-first into the journalism aspect of the company.
Riding the train home last night, as I watched the glittery lights of Manhattan in the distance, it finally hit me that I've made it. I said I'd get back here, I did, and I'm not just visiting my friends at NYU, feeling like I want to be here but don't deserve to stay. Not only am I staying, I'm making a life here - the life I always dreamed of but couldn't start yet. And it's already started. I don't know where NYC will take me, either. All I know is I'm going to keep going along for the ride.
And as if my life isn't already completely made of fortunate circumstances, I lucked out more than ever in the past couple days. After my mini-life crisis about wanting to work in music journalism, but not able to secure any real jobs because of my lack of experience, I only had to wait a couple hours for things to fall into place.
On Monday I woke up, threw on my swimsuit with the intention of swimming laps at the pool, and just before heading out, sat down to check my e-mail. Then I proceeded to putz around on Craigslist, hoping that something music & writing related would be listed. I immediately found a listing for a full-time summer internship in the music industry, applied right away, and then played around online for a while. Less than 2 hours later, I got a call from the director of the company I had applied to, MusicDish Network, which totally caught me off guard because A) I had just applied and B) no one ever calls anymore. So within a few minutes I realized I was in the middle of a phone interview. After developing my typical nervous reaction to interviews, I stuttered for a few minutes about how "I just love love love music and it's my favorite passion in the whole entire world." Yeah it was pretty bad. But then I also rambled about how I want to learn everything about the music industry because I'm so interested in everything related to music. To this, the guy responded, "Interesting," and I had no idea what that meant. But it couldn't have been bad, because I had an interview set up that night.
A couple hours later I set out for Astoria, Queens, to the borough I've heard so much about in terms of affordable, safe housing and young, vibrant neighborhoods, but one that, sadly, I've never explored. Getting off the subway 45 minutes later, I fell in love with the neighborhood. At dinnertime there were just as many people in a hurry as in Manhattan, just as much culture, and even more ethnic restaurants and cute shops. The only difference was the lack of skyscrapers, but that view was overly compensated for by the view of the bridges leading back to Manhattan. I just loved everything about the vibe I got being there: people seemed genuine, interesting, and very much reminiscent of the kind of people I want to be neighbors with. Not that Manhattanites aren't any of these things; I'm just so appreciative of places where I know I'm not surrounded by millionaires-- where I feel like I belong. Sometimes when I walk around Manhattan I feel like I'm playing a game of pretend; like it's just an illusion that I'm walking among people who spend more money on a shopping spree than I've ever seen in my entire life. I love the city to death, but I can't live solely in this world forever. Of course there's tremendous diversity here, but I want to see what life is like on the other side of the bridge, where walking down the street isn't always a fashion show. I love the world I'm in right now, but I want to try on another one for size. I want to live in a community where I can make friends with people and families that I wouldn't have had the opportunity to meet anywhere else in the world. This may be coming off as incredibly sappy, but sorry, that's the way I get about life sometimes. :P
I love writing because I love what's behind it all-- stories. I'm getting sick of my own voice, so I'm turning to music journalism to get the facts out and cover topics I'm really interested in. But I still love stories, which is why I want to hear what other people have to say. I want to get to know the guy who owns the pizza shop down the street, or the woman working at the laundromat who barely speaks any English. When I get back into creative writing, I want to tell stories that matter-- not just the recreation of my childhood in paperback fiction. There will be a time for all stories to be told, but right now, it's time to turn the focus on the stories I have yet to be told.
And wow I just derailed off topic so bad... anyways, so my interview was in Astoria at a coffee/wine bar. The guy who interviewed me was super laid back, genuine, and pretty much talked the whole time about the music industry and what my position would entail. When he mentioned "you *will* be doing..." I got the hint that I had already gotten the job.
I GOT A FULL-TIME INTERNSHIP IN THE MUSIC INDUSTRY!! And practically immediately after I realized that I want to be a music journalist and have my life completely revolve around music. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. I'm supposed to log about 40 hours of work a week, mostly from home, and occasionally coming into the Queens office. What I'll be doing: writing music reviews, managing the million (okay, maybe like 7) sites that the company has, organizing online marketing strategies to target audiences about bands, targeting bands about the PR services offered, calling radio stations to promote bands, editing web site content, eventually working on the music magazine, and getting VIP access to shows when the artists play in the area. And my boss has already talked about me sticking around in the fall to potentially be an editor for the music magazine, and dive head-first into the journalism aspect of the company.
Riding the train home last night, as I watched the glittery lights of Manhattan in the distance, it finally hit me that I've made it. I said I'd get back here, I did, and I'm not just visiting my friends at NYU, feeling like I want to be here but don't deserve to stay. Not only am I staying, I'm making a life here - the life I always dreamed of but couldn't start yet. And it's already started. I don't know where NYC will take me, either. All I know is I'm going to keep going along for the ride.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
I always make important life decisons in the middle of concerts
I wish I could make everyone understand how I feel about concerts, since live music is undeniably the best thing about life, in my opinion. I can't even explain how overwhelmingly happy I get from seeing a favorite band, or a surprisingly amazing new band, play music straight to me, while I'm surrounded by a crowd of people all devoted to one thing: soaking up the music, while blocking out the rest of the world.
When I'm at a show, I forget where I am, what time it is, or what I have to do the next day. When the beat is going and my knees are shaking, everything else stops, and all that matters is the distance between me and the band members on stage, as I sing the music straight back to them while being completely caught up in the moment.
I need to try to explain how incredibly happy concerts make me, because I tend to feel like this obsession doesn't make sense to most people. The need to constantly spend money on concerts and albums is obviously problematic to someone who doesn't have much money to begin with, but I'd give up food before I gave up music.
I mean, there are so many things that I love about life, but when it comes down to it, what matters besides music, really? To me at least, music is the center of everything. It's a way of showing faith, of expressing every emotion conceivable, and a way of reflecting every unique experience that one may feel no one else understands, except a favorite band who wrote a song that rings true to someone. Without music, my life would be meaningless. I'd have no beat to tap my feet to, or no melody to hum while walking down the street. My point is, music means more to me than anything on this earth, and I'm going to continue to live my life in a way that always has music at the center.
To transition... I've already changed my mind about my plans for next year about 50 times, and will probably change it 50 more times, but as of now, I'm leaning towards taking some time to do all the things I've always imagined doing, but couldn't pursue because I was on the fast track to graduation for the past 3 years. I don't regret anything I've done so far, but now that I'm a "real person," as people keep telling me, I think it's time to be not only real, but also true. Meaning, I have to listen to what I really need to do to be happy. And to be honest, I don't have a clear, set plan about what that will entail. What I'll probably end up doing will most likely not be logical, but when have I ever been logical?
Here's the thing: I'm 21. I graduated college. I just moved to New York. I have my whole life ahead of me. And I have a million choices to finally be able to choose for myself. Going to grad school immediately would be a continuation of the academic track I've been glued to my whole life, and even more, it would be a continuation of the comfort bubble I've gotten so accustomed to. As much as I complain when I'm in school, it's all I know about life so far. I'm used to boring classes, assignments, grades I don't care about, racing to get to the finish line, racing to get a degree. I could very easily throw myself into another school, another program, another degree with set requirements that I will plan out and take care of, one by one. But what I can also guarantee is that while I'm doing these said requirements, I'll be listening to music while studying, wondering what else I could be doing with my life. I'm not saying I'm not continuing my education; what I'm saying is that I'm not jumping into another couple of years of paying tuition, stressing about school, and distracting myself from the real world right away. I'm going to do something completely new for me: just be.
I'm just going to live in New York, as I'm doing right now, and take advantage of the unlimited opportunities out there for me, as I've already been doing. I need to see concerts on a regular basis. I want to keep writing about music. I want to keep doing my own creative writing, on my own time. I want to keep learning from real-life experiences instead of the classroom. I want to meet people I never would find at college. I want to stay up late writing, sleep in on weekdays, and do freelance work on my own time. I want to not only write music reviews, but become fully immersed in the music industry, interviewing bands and telling their stories through articles. I want to master fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction. I want to teach what I love as I keep learning. One day, I will travel around the world and continue to teach and learn. I want to find out what it's like to live without technology, where having a home is considered a luxury. I have so much left to do with my life that I can't even fit all my ideas onto paper. And I won't be able to do any of them if I don't open my eyes and step outside of my comfort zone. Grad school will always be there. If I want to get my MFA, I'll do it. I've always been able to get what I really wanted if I worked hard enough (well, in most cases). The issue now, though, is coming to terms with what I really want - right now - just me, not thinking about what I should do, or what anyone else has told me.
This is my life, which I'm starting anew -- remembering the past, holding onto the good stuff, but mostly, moving forward to seek out what I've only dreamed about in the farthest corners of my imagination.
And then the real question is, as my mom always says, "Is the world ready for you?"
When I'm at a show, I forget where I am, what time it is, or what I have to do the next day. When the beat is going and my knees are shaking, everything else stops, and all that matters is the distance between me and the band members on stage, as I sing the music straight back to them while being completely caught up in the moment.
I need to try to explain how incredibly happy concerts make me, because I tend to feel like this obsession doesn't make sense to most people. The need to constantly spend money on concerts and albums is obviously problematic to someone who doesn't have much money to begin with, but I'd give up food before I gave up music.
I mean, there are so many things that I love about life, but when it comes down to it, what matters besides music, really? To me at least, music is the center of everything. It's a way of showing faith, of expressing every emotion conceivable, and a way of reflecting every unique experience that one may feel no one else understands, except a favorite band who wrote a song that rings true to someone. Without music, my life would be meaningless. I'd have no beat to tap my feet to, or no melody to hum while walking down the street. My point is, music means more to me than anything on this earth, and I'm going to continue to live my life in a way that always has music at the center.
To transition... I've already changed my mind about my plans for next year about 50 times, and will probably change it 50 more times, but as of now, I'm leaning towards taking some time to do all the things I've always imagined doing, but couldn't pursue because I was on the fast track to graduation for the past 3 years. I don't regret anything I've done so far, but now that I'm a "real person," as people keep telling me, I think it's time to be not only real, but also true. Meaning, I have to listen to what I really need to do to be happy. And to be honest, I don't have a clear, set plan about what that will entail. What I'll probably end up doing will most likely not be logical, but when have I ever been logical?
Here's the thing: I'm 21. I graduated college. I just moved to New York. I have my whole life ahead of me. And I have a million choices to finally be able to choose for myself. Going to grad school immediately would be a continuation of the academic track I've been glued to my whole life, and even more, it would be a continuation of the comfort bubble I've gotten so accustomed to. As much as I complain when I'm in school, it's all I know about life so far. I'm used to boring classes, assignments, grades I don't care about, racing to get to the finish line, racing to get a degree. I could very easily throw myself into another school, another program, another degree with set requirements that I will plan out and take care of, one by one. But what I can also guarantee is that while I'm doing these said requirements, I'll be listening to music while studying, wondering what else I could be doing with my life. I'm not saying I'm not continuing my education; what I'm saying is that I'm not jumping into another couple of years of paying tuition, stressing about school, and distracting myself from the real world right away. I'm going to do something completely new for me: just be.
I'm just going to live in New York, as I'm doing right now, and take advantage of the unlimited opportunities out there for me, as I've already been doing. I need to see concerts on a regular basis. I want to keep writing about music. I want to keep doing my own creative writing, on my own time. I want to keep learning from real-life experiences instead of the classroom. I want to meet people I never would find at college. I want to stay up late writing, sleep in on weekdays, and do freelance work on my own time. I want to not only write music reviews, but become fully immersed in the music industry, interviewing bands and telling their stories through articles. I want to master fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and creative non-fiction. I want to teach what I love as I keep learning. One day, I will travel around the world and continue to teach and learn. I want to find out what it's like to live without technology, where having a home is considered a luxury. I have so much left to do with my life that I can't even fit all my ideas onto paper. And I won't be able to do any of them if I don't open my eyes and step outside of my comfort zone. Grad school will always be there. If I want to get my MFA, I'll do it. I've always been able to get what I really wanted if I worked hard enough (well, in most cases). The issue now, though, is coming to terms with what I really want - right now - just me, not thinking about what I should do, or what anyone else has told me.
This is my life, which I'm starting anew -- remembering the past, holding onto the good stuff, but mostly, moving forward to seek out what I've only dreamed about in the farthest corners of my imagination.
And then the real question is, as my mom always says, "Is the world ready for you?"
Saturday, June 14, 2008
So worth almost getting pneumonia
After a few exhausting hours of interview-clothes-shopping (not kidding- finding professional clothes is somewhat painful & definitely not enjoyable for me as I am SO not professional), I headed back to my room to throw my stuff down, and randomly bumped into Kristin, an NYU friend I hadn't seen since I transferred. But we had talked about seeing Vampire Weekend play at Central Park, so we headed uptown and upon stepping out of the subway station, realized that there was a TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR going on. Within a block we were completely soaked, but kept going, since we paid the $2 to get uptown... & saw everyone running for their lives out of the park, but we went against traffic to follow the free music. It was kind of like that scene in Titanic where Jack goes back downstairs on the ship despite all the people yelling, "you're going the wrong way!" as they get on deck & jump onto the lifeboats.
So Kristin & I waded through huge puddles, got completely covered in dirt and mud, and kept getting wetter, to only realize that they weren't letting any more people into the show due to a fear that we were all gonna get struck by lightning because apparently someone got struck at a show a couple years ago. However, the hundreds of happily-dancing, wet, probably drunk concert-goers didn't seem to be worried about death, so we figured we'd be safe. And if not, at least we would be surrounded by loud, probably drunk & high music-lovers. :D
So you really had to be there to understand, but just picture a soaked, muddy park, full of drenched people dancing, throwing beach balls, and basically frolicking in a monsoon. That's what it was like. We pretty much sat on a huge rock for a couple hours listening to the opening bands, then ventured up to one of the gates to get a closer listen. Not gonna lie-- witnessing the sheer madness that goes on near a gate w/ a security guard was probably more entertaining than the concert (and that's saying a lot, as concerts are my life). Some highlights (& I apologize in advance for the graphic nature of them. Okay I don't really apologize. It was hilarious) -->
Random college boy, with friend, to male, twenty-ish security guard: "So who do I have to give a blow job to to get into the show? Cuz I'll do it. I will! You can call me anything you want."
(Security guard keels over laughing, saying nothing. Kid walks away.)
& 15-year-old boy, to guard: "Hi! How are you? What's your real name? How are you doing today? Tell me everything about yourself! Seriously, I want to know everything about you. Are you happy with your life? I came all the way from Westchester {a suburb of NYC}. I came with my friends; we traveled so far. And then we walked all the way--"
Me: "From Westchester?" {It's a 45-minute drive.} (Guard laughs)
Kid: "No, no. We took a train. But then we took the subway, and got lost, and ended up at the Brooklyn Bridge {total OPPOSITE direction of Central Park}.
(Security guard says nothing; kid wanders away.)
5 mins. later, kid comes back: "So I got lonely over there not talking to you for a few minutes. So what's up?" (Me, Kristin, guard = hysterical.)
Other highlights: 2 guys jumping the fence & getting away with it. Later, guy + girl jumping the fence, which Kristin points out to the guard, who yells and then chases after them, only to not catch them. Minutes later, drunk, bikini-clad, tattooed woman escapes, and is chased by her boyfriend. After a long dispute with security guards, good-spirited drunk woman is dragged out by her boyfriend & the guard.
So anyways. After being drenched once, then twice, we finally got into the show for the last few songs of Vampire Weekend, at which point it starts pouring once again. At this point, I am officially not happy with the temperature at which the wet clothes sticking to my skin are creating. But we rock on, nonetheless. To make a long story short, show ends, we race out, catch a bus in fear that the subways may be flooded, make the bus seats very, very wet, my camera dies after taking the most hideous picture of the two of us drenched, and we get home, soaked and extremely happy about what was perhaps the coolest day ever. Except I say that every day, so don't take my word for it.
Eating a banana in a downpour:
With a girl I haven't seen in sooooo long:
Awesome security guard exerting some brute force on boyfriend of crazy, drunk girl who hopped the fence to sneak into the concert:
VAMPIRE WEEKEND! in the downpour, for free:
So Kristin & I waded through huge puddles, got completely covered in dirt and mud, and kept getting wetter, to only realize that they weren't letting any more people into the show due to a fear that we were all gonna get struck by lightning because apparently someone got struck at a show a couple years ago. However, the hundreds of happily-dancing, wet, probably drunk concert-goers didn't seem to be worried about death, so we figured we'd be safe. And if not, at least we would be surrounded by loud, probably drunk & high music-lovers. :D
So you really had to be there to understand, but just picture a soaked, muddy park, full of drenched people dancing, throwing beach balls, and basically frolicking in a monsoon. That's what it was like. We pretty much sat on a huge rock for a couple hours listening to the opening bands, then ventured up to one of the gates to get a closer listen. Not gonna lie-- witnessing the sheer madness that goes on near a gate w/ a security guard was probably more entertaining than the concert (and that's saying a lot, as concerts are my life). Some highlights (& I apologize in advance for the graphic nature of them. Okay I don't really apologize. It was hilarious) -->
Random college boy, with friend, to male, twenty-ish security guard: "So who do I have to give a blow job to to get into the show? Cuz I'll do it. I will! You can call me anything you want."
(Security guard keels over laughing, saying nothing. Kid walks away.)
& 15-year-old boy, to guard: "Hi! How are you? What's your real name? How are you doing today? Tell me everything about yourself! Seriously, I want to know everything about you. Are you happy with your life? I came all the way from Westchester {a suburb of NYC}. I came with my friends; we traveled so far. And then we walked all the way--"
Me: "From Westchester?" {It's a 45-minute drive.} (Guard laughs)
Kid: "No, no. We took a train. But then we took the subway, and got lost, and ended up at the Brooklyn Bridge {total OPPOSITE direction of Central Park}.
(Security guard says nothing; kid wanders away.)
5 mins. later, kid comes back: "So I got lonely over there not talking to you for a few minutes. So what's up?" (Me, Kristin, guard = hysterical.)
Other highlights: 2 guys jumping the fence & getting away with it. Later, guy + girl jumping the fence, which Kristin points out to the guard, who yells and then chases after them, only to not catch them. Minutes later, drunk, bikini-clad, tattooed woman escapes, and is chased by her boyfriend. After a long dispute with security guards, good-spirited drunk woman is dragged out by her boyfriend & the guard.
So anyways. After being drenched once, then twice, we finally got into the show for the last few songs of Vampire Weekend, at which point it starts pouring once again. At this point, I am officially not happy with the temperature at which the wet clothes sticking to my skin are creating. But we rock on, nonetheless. To make a long story short, show ends, we race out, catch a bus in fear that the subways may be flooded, make the bus seats very, very wet, my camera dies after taking the most hideous picture of the two of us drenched, and we get home, soaked and extremely happy about what was perhaps the coolest day ever. Except I say that every day, so don't take my word for it.
Eating a banana in a downpour:
With a girl I haven't seen in sooooo long:
Awesome security guard exerting some brute force on boyfriend of crazy, drunk girl who hopped the fence to sneak into the concert:
VAMPIRE WEEKEND! in the downpour, for free:
Friday, June 13, 2008
So.much.to.do!
So the days are a-flyin' by, and each day keeps getting more interesting than the next. I've been applying to tons of "real" jobs that actually require me to show up at work, in addition to editing an article for CrossCurrents magazine as well as writing a couple music reviews for HotIndieMedia.com. Btw, I absolutely LOVE writing music reviews...and definitely love the idea of doing journalism writing & creative writing, in life, in general. And apparently I chose the right major in college, since all the job listings for editing & proofreading lead me to believe that today's society is illiterate, and I lucked out by being good at grammar... who knows. So anyways, I have a couple interviews next week so cross your fingers that I can find a way to sustain my *necessary* concert-going way of life. :P
And onto the fun stuff: Thursday I scored big-time: free lunch from Tyler at NYU, a free beer from a Czech family that I met in the city while Matt Troy came to visit for a day, free view of the Hudson River as I took a nice afternoon stroll, and free observation of a fashion line at my friend's aunt's trunk show (where you can check out the line & try clothes on, while being entertained with free refreshments).
And after staying up till after 2 on Thursday, I got up at 5 am to go to the Today show to see Kenny Chesney (FYI, I am an equal music listener & will give any genre a shot...and I'm also a seasonal closeted country fan during the summer). Nonetheless, I learned today that I'm not ready for country before lunchtime. But I got some standard pics of Matt Lauer & Ann Curry and played push-and-shove with some rowdy, frizzy-haired tourists, as per usual. Then despite serious sleep deprivation, I wandered around 5th Ave & Midtown for a while before heading back downtown to do some mostly unsuccessful shopping. Also despite tiredness, I got to rock out to the Fratellis, a sweet UK band that performed at Virgin Records for free! And I had been bummed that their NYC show was sold out...so that was awesome.
Then tonight Carla came with me to check out this interpretative dance show/play based on Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, which my Uncle Paul's friend Christine choreographed, directed, & starred in. Not gonna lie, it was interesting & like nothing I'd ever seen before, but Christine's dance skills were pretty wicked... & I was definitely entertained. So then after the show I got to meet a fellow Milwaukee person who moved to NYC; she's been here 7 years, lives in Brooklyn, & mentioned hanging out sometime. Yay for new friends! :) Aaand Carla & I got Magnolia cupcakes, and were surprise-serenaded by an ambush La Bamba-er -- no joke, all of a sudden this guy with a guitar popped out of the dark and started singing & strumming "La Bamba." GOD, I love NY.
The awesome weekend has only begun, and I'm still SO EXCITED for the rest of the highly anticipated events: free Vampire Weekend concert hosted by Andrew W.K. in Central Park tomorrow, and THE BRIDGES, LOCKSLEY, AND ROONEY, the **amazing** lineup I saw in Madison, on Sunday. I.can't.even.WAIT. :D
So everything is finally starting to sink in, and I'm beginning to realize what it feels likes to have your dreams come true-- even if it's one at a time.
The beautiful, sparking, shining Hudson River:
View of NJ:
Hudson + NJ:
Empire State building view from the West Village:
Matt Lauer & Ann Curry:
Matt & Ann:
The stage of "Gobstopper Influence": clothes lines full of pictures & twigs. So crafty.
And onto the fun stuff: Thursday I scored big-time: free lunch from Tyler at NYU, a free beer from a Czech family that I met in the city while Matt Troy came to visit for a day, free view of the Hudson River as I took a nice afternoon stroll, and free observation of a fashion line at my friend's aunt's trunk show (where you can check out the line & try clothes on, while being entertained with free refreshments).
And after staying up till after 2 on Thursday, I got up at 5 am to go to the Today show to see Kenny Chesney (FYI, I am an equal music listener & will give any genre a shot...and I'm also a seasonal closeted country fan during the summer). Nonetheless, I learned today that I'm not ready for country before lunchtime. But I got some standard pics of Matt Lauer & Ann Curry and played push-and-shove with some rowdy, frizzy-haired tourists, as per usual. Then despite serious sleep deprivation, I wandered around 5th Ave & Midtown for a while before heading back downtown to do some mostly unsuccessful shopping. Also despite tiredness, I got to rock out to the Fratellis, a sweet UK band that performed at Virgin Records for free! And I had been bummed that their NYC show was sold out...so that was awesome.
Then tonight Carla came with me to check out this interpretative dance show/play based on Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, which my Uncle Paul's friend Christine choreographed, directed, & starred in. Not gonna lie, it was interesting & like nothing I'd ever seen before, but Christine's dance skills were pretty wicked... & I was definitely entertained. So then after the show I got to meet a fellow Milwaukee person who moved to NYC; she's been here 7 years, lives in Brooklyn, & mentioned hanging out sometime. Yay for new friends! :) Aaand Carla & I got Magnolia cupcakes, and were surprise-serenaded by an ambush La Bamba-er -- no joke, all of a sudden this guy with a guitar popped out of the dark and started singing & strumming "La Bamba." GOD, I love NY.
The awesome weekend has only begun, and I'm still SO EXCITED for the rest of the highly anticipated events: free Vampire Weekend concert hosted by Andrew W.K. in Central Park tomorrow, and THE BRIDGES, LOCKSLEY, AND ROONEY, the **amazing** lineup I saw in Madison, on Sunday. I.can't.even.WAIT. :D
So everything is finally starting to sink in, and I'm beginning to realize what it feels likes to have your dreams come true-- even if it's one at a time.
The beautiful, sparking, shining Hudson River:
View of NJ:
Hudson + NJ:
Empire State building view from the West Village:
Matt Lauer & Ann Curry:
Matt & Ann:
The stage of "Gobstopper Influence": clothes lines full of pictures & twigs. So crafty.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
NY & my one-week anniversary
Today's highlights:
* tanning in Madison Square Park - it turns out that I'm not missing out on the nature aspect of Madison (WI) summer after all.
* finally getting NY pizza at one of my favorite places -- to learn hours later that there's a huge tomato recall b/c of salmonella. awesome.
* finally getting some boxes of my stuff shipped here. yay for having a mini sewing kit once again to mend my clothes.
* itunes gift cards, redeemed. always exciting.
* tanning in Madison Square Park - it turns out that I'm not missing out on the nature aspect of Madison (WI) summer after all.
* finally getting NY pizza at one of my favorite places -- to learn hours later that there's a huge tomato recall b/c of salmonella. awesome.
* finally getting some boxes of my stuff shipped here. yay for having a mini sewing kit once again to mend my clothes.
* itunes gift cards, redeemed. always exciting.
Monday, June 9, 2008
"I'm so tired of repeating myself..."
...not really, but that's a Jamie Lidell lyric. And I am still in Jamie-Lidell-mode after seeing a fantastic performance tonight at the Bowery Ballroom. I'll sum it up with a list: neon blazer, soul/funk/jazz/rap/hip-hop/electronic music, freestyle dancing that included spins and kicks, band members jumping into the audience for a fifteen-minute jam session, a sax player wearing a dress + belt + high socks + loafers, lots of tambourines, audience members smoking pot, and an encore that included Jamie wearing a hollow TV set on his head. And keep in mind that this is all done by a British man. I'm thinking about moving to England after tonight...just kidding. He lives in Berlin-- and soon Paris-- anyway. But really. Go to Jamie Lidell's Myspace immediately.
Other than being wowed tonight, I bared the 96-degree heat (wtf, NY) with Tyler and *walked* from 14th to 42nd in Times Square. Then we spent the day at the Museum of Modern Art (my fave) b/c my dear friend Tyler works for a museum & thus can get me in for free ;) So I was thoroughly impressed by all the new art- except for a video of a naked chick hula hooping with barbed wire. for real. it was frightening. but everything else rocked my socks off.
So then Tyler & I did some reading at Barnes 'N Noble, & later I wandered around Chinatown/Little Italy/Soho before the concert to reacquaint myself with a few of my favorite neighborhoods.
the man himself, jamie lidell, with a tv on his head for the encore.
JAMIE LIDELL.
Little Italy.
at the MoMA.
four at once!
Cloud race.
Piccola Italia again.
A stroll through Chinatown.
from the MoMA
Tyler, me, & some crazy mirrors
Lost in the jungle?
a giant ice cream cone bean bag: modern art.
Other than being wowed tonight, I bared the 96-degree heat (wtf, NY) with Tyler and *walked* from 14th to 42nd in Times Square. Then we spent the day at the Museum of Modern Art (my fave) b/c my dear friend Tyler works for a museum & thus can get me in for free ;) So I was thoroughly impressed by all the new art- except for a video of a naked chick hula hooping with barbed wire. for real. it was frightening. but everything else rocked my socks off.
So then Tyler & I did some reading at Barnes 'N Noble, & later I wandered around Chinatown/Little Italy/Soho before the concert to reacquaint myself with a few of my favorite neighborhoods.
the man himself, jamie lidell, with a tv on his head for the encore.
JAMIE LIDELL.
Little Italy.
at the MoMA.
four at once!
Cloud race.
Piccola Italia again.
A stroll through Chinatown.
from the MoMA
Tyler, me, & some crazy mirrors
Lost in the jungle?
a giant ice cream cone bean bag: modern art.
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